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. Will you come home for Christmas this year?”“No,” I said. “This will be Mike and Mary’s first Christmas living together. I’m not gonna insert myself in the middle of that.”“You could stay with us,” she offered.I laughed at that. “Nope. If I stayed under your roof, you’d try to patch things up with Billy, Linda and me. Fuck that. I’d rather spend Christmas alone. Not to mention, I have no idea what your husband thinks of all this, but I’ve seen him carry a grudge for years, so I wouldn’t turn my back on him if you paid me.”“Your father was angry for a long time,” she told me. “It took a lot of me explaining to him how he’d treated you to see that he pushed you to do what you did to him. I think he looks at it now as you standing up for yourself.”I shrugged. “That’s only one of the issues. I don’t want anything to do with Billy or Linda. I don’t want to sit down and talk it out. I don’t want to shake hands and say ‘Merry Christmas’, I don’t want to sit around the table and pass the. One father I didn’t know. The only time we spoke was at his arraignment. He was my rapist, though, I consider him nothing more than just another lover. I was with him longer that night than most of my one night stands. It shames me to know that while he was violent and demanding, to me he was nothing more than a roleplay gone awry. He cut my ‘cunt’ open with a beer bottle and left me on the side of a road to bleed. I’ve had lovers do more damage to me with their words. The other father of a set of baby bones was a lover I coveted. He was a vampire, metaphorically. He sucked me dry in every fashion someone can suck the life from a person. He drained my blood, because he was kinky. He drained my emotions, because he was an emotional cripple himself. He drained me financially, because he was a leech. He drained me physically, because he fucked me until I would laugh and cry simultaneously. I told him I was pregnant about nine months into our lust-fest. He told me to purge myself of.
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